Over the years I have made a lot of friends, or should I say acquaintances. As I have gotten older, I realize that true friends are very hard to come by, and most of my “so called friends” were only in my life for what I could do for them or so they could be a part of my life, sad but true.

I do still have a select few that I have been able to hang onto over the years that I would hope are still my friends. However, I know that with the way of the world today; meaning political choices, religious and social choices, etc… it has made the world so very divisive and split apart. I was always told growing up “never discuss politics or religion” in a social setting, it never ends well.

My most recent friend losses happened with a lot of the political debates that happened over the past few years. It is funny because I actually did not air my opinions, since I tend to air on the side above and kept them to myself. However, after hours of having someone else shove their opinions down my throat, I lost my shit and went for the juggler. After all, I am only human and can only take so much. Ironically, this particular friend of mine at the time, being gay, had some serious thoughts; which I had openly listened too, as I am a huge gay rights supporter. However, lines were crossed and it was made clear that my support did not matter at the end of the day. After years of friendship, support during his numerous dead end relationships, it was made clear to me at that point that I would never be a part of “their community” or his life or that I was considered a true friend. This was very hurtful to me and my husband as we had always been on his side, no judgement ever; clearly to our own demise in this case, and that was essentially the end of a 15 year friendship.

Another type of friend I had over the years are the “flighty friends” and while we are still good friends they are only friends when it works for them. I understand that we are all busy and life is hard sometime, but with the way texting works and social media you would think you could stay better connected. Well not my flighty friends they breeze in when it is good for them like no time has passed. Then breeze out and I don’t hear from them again from months or years! Honestly they are the most benign of the friend groups, so to keep them around is not really that big of deal, it just is what it is.

I have unfortunately come across a lot “frenemies” over the years. Recently I thought I had a tribe of ladies in my community of lovely like minded people similar to me. However it turns out they just wanted to be a part of the lifestyle I have, and just want to be a part of the spotlight or say that they are. They just wanted to be on the inside, and then gossip behind my back in the school pick lines about how my home looks inside or what it was like to have cocktails with me. I have heard more about myself from others than I even actually knew about myself. Heck they even do it to each other, talking shit about who was sleeping with the others husband “since these ladies apparently like to trade”, and then who got who pregnant, now they have to move, I mean what a train wreck, right? Now let me just redirect your back to my own infertility issues I have previously mentioned, so you know I really do not want to hear any of that shit! Some of these same ladies are weird social media stalkers, and would find mutual friends that worked at my bank so they could find out about my money flow; yeah scary right? They would know when checks were coming in. They researched my properties that were for sell, my net worth, everything. I even watched them take my mail and return it to my mailbox; I mean total stalkers, and they were just the average neighbor next door, that had to know everything about you! I am surprised they didn’t just go through my garbage cans too.

I know I have previously discussed the issues with husband’s family and what a dumpster fire they are; now imagine that you can not even have some basic normal friends because everyone that gets near you only wants to use you to get ahead in the world in some way. Can you get me introduction to so-in-so, or do you know anyone that works at this company? I need a job in the this field, do you know anyone? Can I sell you life insurance, retirement plans, investment properties, corporate startup buy in’s, and the list go on and on. While I understand networking is how the world works and it is all about “who you know” it just gets old really fast. To be honest this is not the way you will make it entertainment business, and it is so cut throat; just because you know them or know of them does not mean you can of would get any traction in the direction you seek. Honestly you have to fuck them, or have blackmail on them to get anywhere in Hollywood; of course you could work for nothing so they make all the money off of you, a little insider trick which is not publicized that is another way to make it big or at least look like you did, lol.

It really is very sad these days that we can not have friends, or that our friendship are being ruined by the crazy social conditions of our world. My musing today is wondering if this is just because I have gotten older and see through all of the bullshit, or if social media has change the perception of how people are thinking these days due to so much more misinformation. I know people will always be who they are, and social media now give everyone a platform to pass along ideas, whether they are their ideas or just ideas they support. Which in turn creates a new ideas for people you thought you knew, or maybe they are all just sheep following the leader that seems cool but they never did their own research to see if it is a real thing or not. Or they are just want to be rock stars like a fake Hollywood persona shows you on those made up reality shows like The Bachelor or The Vanderpumps, because yes they are fake.

Your BFF Always,

Veronica J